Going to the career fair

Dad says I can do anything. When I grow up, I want to be worker in a textile factory, or a riveter (do they still have rivets? I think its all composites now), or Deborah Winger in "Officer and a Gentleman."

High Self Esteem

I am so talented. I can walk when motivated to reach something dangerous, like an electrical outlet, a flight of stairs, or nuclear secrets. Everyone loves me and compliments me on even the most modest achievement like genome mapping or firm poop. My self-esteem is so high that my head has swollen like, well, a baloon; in fact my head has trancended simile and metaphor and has become an actual baloon.